- Festivus Dinner-Served at home, usually prior to the Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.
- Airing Of Grievances-We all get around with a shot of Crown or our booze du jour and list one way we have been disappointed this year.
- Feats of Strength-Take a shot of whiskey, 'nuff said.
- Festivus cannot end until the head of the household is pinned.
- Festivus Pole-An aluminum unadorned pole, I really need to get one of these. Lord knows I didn't bother to put up a tree this year.
- Festivus Miracles-minor coincidences that you make a big stink out of.
- In lieu of gifts, donations are made to the Human Fund.
Christmas for some, Hanukka for others, a FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!!!