Thursday, June 2, 2011

Mini-Panic Attack Thanks to The Bump

When I was a bride to be, I lived and died by The Knot.  I got so much help, support and great advice from The Knot message boards.  So much so, that I credit a lot of my wedding's final outcome to the influence of that board.  So naturally I've toodled around on The Nest boards.  It's mildly interesting, I've posted every now and again.

So now, as we look to the future, I've started poking around on The Bump message boards.  Just poking people, I can verify with 100% certitude that I am not currently knocked up.  Also, I am holding a beer as I type this sooooo yeah, don't read into this too much.  Just been on my mind since so many of my peers are starting families right now.

Most people I know had very little difficulty getting pregnant (or so they claim).  Many of them say they got pregnant right away, on their first try.  While I'm still warming up to the whole idea of housing another human being inside me for 9 months, getting knocked up right away does not sound great.  I'd like to try for a bit, that's half the fun right?  I'm a firm believer that it's not about the destination, it's about the journey.

So I started poking around on the Trying to Conceive board and boy is my mind BLOWN.  I know, I'm increadibly naieve and probably half the people who say they got pregnant right away are liars or weren't trying at all, but all the charting and the ovulation testing is really throwing me for a loop.  I thought that when the time came, we'd just do our thing for a while until one morning I peed on a stick and saw a plus sign or a smiley face or whatever the crap they have. 

I've occasionally peed on an ovulation strip out of sheer boredom, never am I ovulating*.  There's nothing on TV....I wonder if I'm ovulating...I'm gonna go pee on a stick and find out...Note I keep ovulation tests in the house because I had to spend my FSA on something at the end of last year.  I heard these are expensive so I stocked up.  What?  That's normal, right?  They don't expire for like 3 years, I figured I might need them in that time frame, I think it's a safe bet.

*Note that in no way am I doing this in any kind of methodical fashion or am I in any way shape or form in my monthly ovulation window, so it's no reason to be alarmed/concerned.  SHEER BOREDOM PEOPLE.

I don't want to take my temperature daily.  I don't want to chart it on a handy little app on my iPhone that sends my husband and I text messages or "booty calls" to let us know it's time to try.  I don't want to cry when I get my period.  I just want to live and let nature take its course.  But as I read these messages, some of these ladies have been trying for a year.  A year!  I'm all hippie zen now, but where am I going to be a year from now?  The mayor of Baby Crazytown?   

I guess it's just sinking in that maybe this will be hard.  Maybe I will have no control over the situation.  Maybe our bodies will just have limitations.  And we'll figure out how far we're willing to go for a tyke or two of our own when the time comes.  But wow, you spend so long trying NOT to get pregnant.  And then there you are, failing at something the girls on 16 and Pregnant obviously excelled at.  Kind of scary isn't it?


Melizza said...

I completely agree! Who knew it would be hard? Honestly my mother and sister look at naked men and get knocked up. Seriously. They are that fertile. So I can only hope I will get with baby easily enough, right? Nope. I think it's safer to prep for the worse. But I too don't want to take temps, use charts...I hated science in school for a reason.

I say no panicking until trying for a bit. Enjoy the journey. Not that I am, or we are, going anywhere myself.

Kate said...

(1) Step away from The Bump. The Bump - especially the TTC Board - is Satan. Obviously, I also loved my time on The Knot. I was always surprised when brides from other cities said how much they hated TK, how bitchy and whiney girls were on their boards, etc. I think the Austin Board is just a Special Breed of Awesome as I now 100% understand what they were saying after my brief stint posting on TB. 80% of the ladies on there are only there for the snark and/or will tell you that if you haven't been TTC for a year, you can't understand anything, if you don't chart you're an idiot, etc, etc. I just did not find it to be a helpful or supportive community... and it made me think I had every fertility problem under the sun.

(2) That being said... I was so clueless about how hard it can be trying to get pregnant. I thought we'd just have a whole lotta sex and get knocked up after a few months - no biggie. WRONG. After 2 months, I started getting more serious and learning about charting, tempting, etc. After doing all that for a while, I definitely noticed some issues with my cycles. Hence the acupuncture and the special diet and the gross herbs and yes, some Western drug treatment. It has definitely been an eye-opening experience learning about how perfectly all the pieces have to line up to get pregnant - it's a miracle anyone ever has an "accident!" I like knowing more about my body, but it is stressful and it can consume your life if you let it.

Honestly, I thought I'd be about to pop out a baby right now... And I gots nuttin'. I hope it doesn't take that long for y'all... but if you're interested in some reading materials that won't make you feel like a huge piece of shit, I can highly recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility and Making Babies!

Kelly said...

Thanks so much for your comments, they make me feel much more calm/sane!